A neuRotIC mind..

 This is a new term that I heard from my friend the other day. I was thinking that I'm going through mid-life crisis, but it's apparently now termed third-life crisis for people in their early to mid-30's (thanks to the medical peeps for increasing our life expectancy). But regardless of age or the correct terminology, the fact is we are in a crisis.  If you speak to people who are not going through it themselves (yet), chances are they'd laugh it off or say "Just chillll. You'll be fine". Thanks for the sound advice buddy, but that's not really helping. They may not understand what arguments and thoughts are constantly going on in your head every day. It wouldn’t matter to others but those thoughts matter to YOU. These thoughts could be anything from the fact that you are aging, to what you have achieved in your career to even existential questions like "Why am I here?"  I'm going through it myself (yes, right now) for all the reasons I ...

Through the years, various fields and professions have fascinated me. I would have liked to be them but alas, life is short and mental and physical capabilities are limited. So I restricted myself to being a software engineer. Here goes: Air force pilot - its cool… and flying! Navy pilot/fighter  - the sea, the tension .long periods of nothingness and then little bit of high octane action Marine biologist - Love whales! Garbage truck driver - skilled profession of driving bigass vehicles, manoeuvring the pickup arm and dumping it into the truck. If lucky get to pick some good discarded items. Like barely used furniture. NDRF - Going to dangerous places, saving people. Feels like an important job Travel blogger -  get to travel and write Writer/author - write random stories Farmer - Take care of plants, grow and eat the same food. Be in the outdoors Environmentalist - Work full time on solutions for environmental problems Astronaut - space, explorer of galaxies Scientist - Come...

My first foray to actually listening to music was in 9th grade when our English teacher played for us the musical piece "Nightingale" by Yanni. It is by far, in my opinion, his most relatable work amongst the common public. Mrs. Kala's motivation behind playing it for us in class was related to that year's poem on "The frog and the nightingale", to make us understand how beautiful a nightingale's voice really is. Listening to that piece gave me goosebumps quite literally, and when the violin piece started I was transported to another world where I was attuned to every note.  At that time, I didn’t have much resources from where I could hear more of such music. YouTube wasn’t available and smart phones hadn't been launched yet. So I was still listening to Britney, Savage garden, Ronan Keating and so on. Those were fond memories, belting out the lyrics as if we really understood what they meant.  Much later in life, after I started earning my own money...

Shit. Just a few more months to hit 30!! I am having a mid life crisis here. What am I doing here on earth? What significant things have I done so far?? What does my future hold for me??? Much older people are totally going to use my age against me and "brag" about how they already had three kids when they were my age. Ugghh. Maybe it would come as a shock to them but my lifes aim is not to have kids. I am completely against the idea of producing kids just for recreational purposes. Don't we already have enough humans crawling on our planet? What do other sane folks do when they turn 30? Go on a world trip, do adrenaline pumping adventure sports, take a sabbatical to write a novel or pretty much do anything they damn please. I guess a lot of it is to celebrate their life so far, be reckless and carefree again and just be that same old crazy-at-heart soul. And then there are those who worry so much about the present and the future that they forget to live. Or be obsesse...

One of my closest friends and I grew up playing all sorts of board games that we possessed and these games were accompanied by long talks about the most arbitrary topics that two young kids could possibly think of. If not board games we would play some make-believe games. One of my favorite and the only one I can remember is the one where I am a mother, my friend is my child and my elder brother is in a double role as the kidnapper and the cop. My role was to pack my child's lunchbox, send her to school and cry when she gets kidnapped. The role of my friend was to be a cute and innocent kid and cry on getting kidnapped. And my brother got his acting skills out all guns blazing by punching himself with one hand and the other trying to block the punch. #IdentityCrisis Such memories make me regret having grown up; not that I had any choice in the matter. I would love to play these silly and fun games once again. Ludo, Snakes and ladders, WWF (yes I had a game with boxing champions ...

Came across this lovely quote today, "The scariest moment is always before you start" and found it to be so true. My mind keeps coming up with absurd reasons to NOT do something which I really want to do, but which scares the living day lights out of me. The one constant thing that I have always wanted to do was write. Everything else kept changing; from being a environmentalist to being a tech guru to being a social worker. Well now I'm none of these and at the same time I'm all of this. I am in a mediocre job related to tech, with a few hours of volunteering at humanitarian events and also a preacher of protecting the environment to my near and dear ones (who never listen to me). But what I still haven't done, is actually write about something that I'm passionate about. When I was 11 years old, I had started writing a story. It was such a world-encompassing far-fetched story that I smile every time I think about it. It involved the characters of The Fam...