Time is short and getting shorter
I'm staying with my parents for 2 weeks to just chill at home and eat nice food before I get back into the grind at work. Unfortunately after COVID, the world has realized that it's easy to work from home and people just still work at home instead of trying to recover, refresh and rejuvenate with friends and family or in solitary. And that’s what I was doing.
I thoroughly enjoyed eating nice homely food, the type which also brought back childhood memories. Apart from a few fancy dishes it was just very regular everyday meals. I have no idea why, but it just tasted out of the world. Is the secret ingredient really love? Sounds corny but hey, who knows.
While I have been here, instead of talking to my parents or listening to their problems I have had to continue to work. I was really contemplating if I should have just filed for leave instead of wasting my time working here at home. But I still observed plenty by staying around them. I have realized how much wear and tear there is on their health. Pain in multiple places, allergies, dental and eyesight problems, fatigue are just a few to name. Mind you, they are still very active for their age, and they are both between 55 to 60. Every day morning and evening walks, exercise at home, taking part in multiple social events, travelling to domestic and international locales. I know many people my age who barely do anything to keep themselves fit and active.
These last two weeks has made me realize two things : how short a time I have with my parents and how I am heading to an early grave. I know death is inevitable, but I love my parents and the thought of them not being in my life at some point in time, scares the daylights out of me. It's just their mere presence even though we stay in different cities that makes me feel like there is a protective blanket around me making me feel safe and loved. They also say sometimes things like "after I am gone" etc. and it doesn’t feel good to hear. I want to be with them and make sure their life is as long and easy as I can possibly make. It's funny, when I was younger I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and be independent, and now I feel like I should spend time with them.
On the other end, I am also realizing that I am potentially headed to any early grave. The amount of stress we have now, the amount of work we do without ever disconnecting, and navigating the uncertainties of an ever-changing world will surely all lead to health issues much earlier in life. The yearly vacation we take barely scratches the surface of relaxing. I'm estimating I might live to be 45ish perhaps before I reach the actual hell. Not that I want to live forever, but I want a quality and happy life however long I live.
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